Parades: We've Got Something to Be Proud About
By WordyGrrl
LNews Columnist
Last weekend, I went to the first non-Pride parade I've witnessed in years. The stark contrast between that small-town mobile display of Fourth Festivity and the Seattle Pride Parade confirmed for me the difference between "them" and "us."
Our parades are a helluva lot more fun.
They're also a helluva lot more colorful. For example, "their" colors were limited to red, white and blue. Our flag has at least six colors -- red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple -- something for everybody! Add in the leather fans and the SM contingent and that's three or four more flag colors right there.
And speaking of leather, we've got lots more of that in our parades. Even if you're not into the "leather lifestyle" 24-7, you have to admit it adds a certain mystique to the wearer. You've seen those active senior gals, strolling along the sidewalk in their exercise uniforms of denim skirts and sensible white walking sneakers. Put a black leather collar on one of 'em and you've got a whole new set of concepts about Granny, don't ya?
Pride parades are fashion-conscious. Straight parades are not. For every sequin they wear, we flash yards of glittering material -- usually topped with a charming and brightly-colored feather boa. And behold the tats and piercings! And lots more skin, too. Not all of it tanned, toned and buff, but displayed proudly and casually just the same.
Political statements abound at our parades, with flyers, treatises and tracts being passed through the crowd by teams of the cute, bright, concerned and socially-aware. I came home covered with stickers to remind me that PFLAG loves me, Washington Mutual celebrates diversity and that the ACLU believes freedom is for everyone. Smiling, energetic candidates for office worked the crowds, shaking every queer hand they could reach while their faithful minions passed around bits of paper outlining their statements and stances on the issues of the day.
At the straight parade, the candidates rode in convertibles, clearly marked with the name of the dealership providing the ride, and blithely waved to onlookers on the sidelines. The closest thing to a political statement (aside from the tiny copies of Old Glory waving around) at the straight parade were the numerous T-shirts plastered with the requisitive levels of WalMart Patriotism: "These Colors Don't Run", "USA" or splashes of red, white and blue with a few token stars on them. The irony that most of their togs were 2 for $10 purchased at Old Navy and made in non-democratic China seemed to have escaped them.
"Bling" is also a concept apparently unknown at straight parades. Unlike Seattle Pride, there were no glittering beads or candy flung by the handful to a grateful throng. No balloons or safe sex packets, no cartoon booklets about Mr Healthy Penis, no fortune cookies (Thanks, Toys in Babeland!), beach balls or other cheap and colorful swag. Instead, two or three floats featured a single generous rider who carefully pressed one piece of saltwater taffy into the hand of any child bold enough to approach the float. Woo hoo.
For every one of their debutantes, we had 20 divas resplendent in sequins, feathers and high-altitude shoes. We had dozens of Dykes on Bikes to each of their placid PT Cruisers for Jesus. Our dancers and drummers were louder, more numerous and more energetic. Our EMT hotties performed exaggerated comedy CPR on the "helpless" women who dashed from the sidelines to fling themselves on the street in front of the firetruck. Theirs just stayed on the truck, smiled and waved.
To sum it up: Our parades and the people who attend them are a lot more fun. There's more color, life, excitement, noise, glamor, music, dancing, diversity... just more of everything that apparently the straight people don't bother to include anymore. Maybe shouts of "Go USA!" and Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" blaring from tinny boombox speakers is enough for those blase about having had 229 years of independence.
But for the rest of us, still struggling for freedom in the same society, celebrating the little bits we've earned is a real cause for celebration. Maybe someday things will even out and we'll have all the same rights, responsibilities and protections "they" do. Until then -- and as often as we can during Pride Month/Week/Day -- let's keep those parades loud, wild, joyful and a helluva lot more fun than theirs!
LNews Columnist
Last weekend, I went to the first non-Pride parade I've witnessed in years. The stark contrast between that small-town mobile display of Fourth Festivity and the Seattle Pride Parade confirmed for me the difference between "them" and "us."
Our parades are a helluva lot more fun.
They're also a helluva lot more colorful. For example, "their" colors were limited to red, white and blue. Our flag has at least six colors -- red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple -- something for everybody! Add in the leather fans and the SM contingent and that's three or four more flag colors right there.
And speaking of leather, we've got lots more of that in our parades. Even if you're not into the "leather lifestyle" 24-7, you have to admit it adds a certain mystique to the wearer. You've seen those active senior gals, strolling along the sidewalk in their exercise uniforms of denim skirts and sensible white walking sneakers. Put a black leather collar on one of 'em and you've got a whole new set of concepts about Granny, don't ya?
Pride parades are fashion-conscious. Straight parades are not. For every sequin they wear, we flash yards of glittering material -- usually topped with a charming and brightly-colored feather boa. And behold the tats and piercings! And lots more skin, too. Not all of it tanned, toned and buff, but displayed proudly and casually just the same.
Political statements abound at our parades, with flyers, treatises and tracts being passed through the crowd by teams of the cute, bright, concerned and socially-aware. I came home covered with stickers to remind me that PFLAG loves me, Washington Mutual celebrates diversity and that the ACLU believes freedom is for everyone. Smiling, energetic candidates for office worked the crowds, shaking every queer hand they could reach while their faithful minions passed around bits of paper outlining their statements and stances on the issues of the day.
At the straight parade, the candidates rode in convertibles, clearly marked with the name of the dealership providing the ride, and blithely waved to onlookers on the sidelines. The closest thing to a political statement (aside from the tiny copies of Old Glory waving around) at the straight parade were the numerous T-shirts plastered with the requisitive levels of WalMart Patriotism: "These Colors Don't Run", "USA" or splashes of red, white and blue with a few token stars on them. The irony that most of their togs were 2 for $10 purchased at Old Navy and made in non-democratic China seemed to have escaped them.
"Bling" is also a concept apparently unknown at straight parades. Unlike Seattle Pride, there were no glittering beads or candy flung by the handful to a grateful throng. No balloons or safe sex packets, no cartoon booklets about Mr Healthy Penis, no fortune cookies (Thanks, Toys in Babeland!), beach balls or other cheap and colorful swag. Instead, two or three floats featured a single generous rider who carefully pressed one piece of saltwater taffy into the hand of any child bold enough to approach the float. Woo hoo.
For every one of their debutantes, we had 20 divas resplendent in sequins, feathers and high-altitude shoes. We had dozens of Dykes on Bikes to each of their placid PT Cruisers for Jesus. Our dancers and drummers were louder, more numerous and more energetic. Our EMT hotties performed exaggerated comedy CPR on the "helpless" women who dashed from the sidelines to fling themselves on the street in front of the firetruck. Theirs just stayed on the truck, smiled and waved.
To sum it up: Our parades and the people who attend them are a lot more fun. There's more color, life, excitement, noise, glamor, music, dancing, diversity... just more of everything that apparently the straight people don't bother to include anymore. Maybe shouts of "Go USA!" and Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" blaring from tinny boombox speakers is enough for those blase about having had 229 years of independence.
But for the rest of us, still struggling for freedom in the same society, celebrating the little bits we've earned is a real cause for celebration. Maybe someday things will even out and we'll have all the same rights, responsibilities and protections "they" do. Until then -- and as often as we can during Pride Month/Week/Day -- let's keep those parades loud, wild, joyful and a helluva lot more fun than theirs!
posted by LNewsEditor at 2:21 AM
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